I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
