my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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