i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
