It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
