Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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