OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
