That's intense
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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