Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Mom said you looked used
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize