I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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