Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
