I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
