Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
