Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
