sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
