I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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