drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
