also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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