and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
