Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
