do herpes really smell.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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