And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
