she smelled like a LAN party
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
