this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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