theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
