we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
