sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
