She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
