i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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