I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize