Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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