thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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