oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
