I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize