I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
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