i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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