i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she peed on how many people?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
