3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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