so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
