didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
