What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
