what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
