I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Green mimosas i think yes
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
