i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize