2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
