Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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