He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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