i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I've blown a few things in my day
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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