she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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