I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
