she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
whose parrot is this?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
