in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
