is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
