sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
