girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
