i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
