can u get pink eye on your cock?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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