thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
