i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
