I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
