I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
